Contentment in Love

My book that I started the other day is continuing to speak about contentment - but now she explains something that is a relief, to probably, so many: contentment with your current situation doesn't mean that you are laying down your dreams for your future or saying that they will never happen, it's simply saying that you are content with right now, and excited, at a patient rate, for what the future holds!

What a relief to know that as we drove through all these villages I love so much, that I can enjoy them and be happy with right now, without feeling that I am laying down what I want for my future. I think it's something that we will have to learn everyday and choose to remember.

Today was the most special time with the children that I have ever experienced.

We went a little early so that I could meet the new school teacher who is helping the children and so the children waited with us; as did three boys that I haven't ever really worked with before, but I immediately wanted to draw them into our group and so that they knew they were accepted, and as the minutes passed, it became evident that it was important they were included. Two of them seemed almost shy of us to begin with, and in fairness, I'd never met them, so I'm not surprised they were cautious.

As we walked up to the house in the pouring rain, I began to realise more what love looks like. Love looks like wanting these children wearing inadequate clothing to have warm coats that keep their little bodies safe and dry; love looks like taking your favourite scarf off and draping it over the head of the child who has no hood, so that they remain a little dry. And in return, love feels like them clutching your hand and not letting go the whole walk, smiling up at you and clutching your hand even tighter; love is wanting to be with you.

Sitting in a lovely warm kitchen with the smell of hot soup floating round us, and pate on thick, yummy Romanian bread and seeing these two little boys looking questioningly up at us as we make sandwiches for them and offer them to them, with a look of 'For me? Why?' as though people aren't kind to them or they never received so much. It broke me. My heart cracked a little and began to weep. I wanted them to come home with us - not because I think 'Oh, you're so sweet', but the reality of 'Well, what do you go home to? WHO do you go home to? Do they love you? Do they feed you properly? Do they cherish you the way I was cherished and loved as a child and now as an adult?' The feeling of "I want for you everything that I had and more!" When we later passed around the biscuits, the smaller of the two looked like he didn't know what to do with them.

Slowly, these two boys began to come out of their shells and saw that they couldn't do anything that they would be shouted at for, that we wanted them to be there, that we were happy that they were here with us and that if they wanted some food, we would give it to them - it wasn't restricted.

The ten of us spent a relaxed and ENJOYABLE, happy time in that kitchen today, colouring, hearing a Bible story, remembering and being rewarded, doing a quiz and singing. That was another thing that we were able to show these children; happiness and love.

By the time we were going back, the children felt safe and were fighting to hold hands and be seen - they had felt acceptance and love and wanted it - and why ever not? That's what they NEED.

As I walked back after many hugs, 'I love you's' being given and received and restraints not to go, I had a full and healthy heart and spotted one of my older girls. We greeted each other, chatted a little and then I opened my arms to give her a hug, and as she came into my hug, she nestled her head under my chin and cuddled up to me, and in that moment, I saw my purpose here clearly - I'm a big sister. I'm loving them. The role of LoveLightRomania here in Jacodu and indeed in all of the projects they have undertaken is multi-faceted. They love, they educate, they feed, they provide, they teach, they care, they see, they invest and they care.

I don't dare you to come out here. Not even a little bit. I wouldn't want you to come on a dare.
By coming you are saying that you are willing, with the right attitude, to allow God to reveal His heart, His character and letting Him break yours a little. It's choosing to learn what love looks like. It's being willing to lay out your love and the possibility that it may be looked at and trampled on, unrepentedly so. But, it's also the joys of seeing a child grasp what you are teaching them and seeing the light shine in their eyes when they know they have got it. It's everything I said above. It's being willing to love. I am learning so much and today, I feel like my heart widened a little and there is room for so much more. And, I pray, that this means there is more to give, because my new friends today so MUCH need to be loved That's why we are here; to show every aspect of love that we can. And I can be content in that love. God will always give me more.

All day, I have been thinking and singing about lifting my eyes up to the hills, and as there are so many around, it isn't difficult. Our help truly does come from the Lord.

Amen

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains

where does my help come from?

2My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

3He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

4indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

5The Lord watches over you—

the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

6the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

7The Lord will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life;

8the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121

Wanting a revelation.

I have been wanting to post a blog for some time now, but only for the sake of 'posting a blog', not a very good reason! But at the moment, I am living a different life, a slower, more contented life and I have more time to think and to reflect, and if I want to, to spend time with Jesus.

There is a key word in that last sentence, if you should choose to look for it: WANT.

In a roundabout kinda way, this is the reason for my post.

I have started reading a new book. I came away with .... let me see ... 4 deep books, as well as my favourite story, but the one that I started this morning, after feeling an urgent need to spend time in my Bible, begins with a chapter about resolutions, and the first resolution is about CONTENTMENT. It can seem like a scary word, and the authoress of my book assures her readers that there will be scary and challenging moments throughout the books pages, but she urges us and prays that we will continue with it.

In so many words, stop! Be happy with where you are, now. Don't think about the next hour. Think about now. Embrace your current, and those in it. Be happy with right now, and flow with the wave of time, don't try and outswim it!

I realise though, that for me, as a Christian woman, this contentment only increases when I am walking in step AND CONVERSING with Jesus. It would be so much easier to just read the Bible and not have to do the talking and listening part - that takes time, but God is never going to place us in a situation that we can't face, with His help. He's a mighty God, but He's Gracious and LOVING! At one time, I would have said that it is much easier to spend time praying and harder to read! 

Whenever you get closer to the plan that God has marked for your present, and even more so when you are living it and have crossed the borders of fear and past failure to get to it, enemy lies start whispering into your ear. Two days ago, I began to wonder what on earth my purpose is here in Romania. I LOVE Romania, but for me to work efficiently and well, I have to have someone to translate for me and I wondered then how God could use me! Or rather, those thoughts were in my head, and I almost began to feel down UNTIL  ........  I remembered that my Father assigned me this time to be here, these friends to be here and this work to do! So, yes, right now, my Romanian is less than fluent! But what better way to learn it than to spend time in the company of people who patiently repeat to me the correct way to pronounce, the difference in the grammar of this meaning of the word and that meaning in the word, and who, in the meantime, are happy to help me by either shopping or translating! 

Part of my new found contentment is learning to be flexible and putting other peoples needs in front of your own, and finding joy in THEIR contentment! 

SO, this morning, I think, (I don't remember as the days are so nice and long!), I was reading where I wanted to pick when God stopped me turning pages at Exodus 3! Now, we are teaching the children about Joseph, his dreams, and God's plans and it is fun to learn with them! But God wanted me to read ahead, and look at what I found!!

'Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. And he led the flock to the back of the desert, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush.  So he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, but the bush was not consumed. Then Moses said, "I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn".

So when the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said '"Moses, Moses!"

If you will, please read back over that passage and note the parts in bold. If you want to read it from your own Bible, it's Exodus 3:1-4.

Do you notice something? I have read this verse many times, but never really paid attention as I knew the story, knew the outcome, from being a small child!

Today, I realised this: Moses had to turn aside from what he was originally doing to step closer. We don't read that the bush was blocking his path and he had to look at it, but rather, the suggestion is that he had to turn away from the route that he had planned to take, to meet with God.

Verse 4 says that when he turned away from what he set out to do and chose to step closer to the place that God had designed to meet him, he called to him! When the Lord saw that Moses was taking time from the human natural to pay attention to the supernatural, He interacted with Him.

Another thing that I have just realised after re-reading this, is that Moses led the flock to the back of the desert. God meet us in the secret, quiet place where we cannot boast and look like the Pharisees. He had a specific and important calling for Moses, but Moses needed to be in the secret place and God needed to see that he was willing to take the time to listen! 

I found this pretty amazing and was grateful for this revelation! There are sometimes when I want to write a blog post, but the revelations are just for me and is God speaking to me, but this one I want to share, because it is a gracious conviction and a reminder of God's gentle nudge. But don't ignore the nudge!

Love in Christ's service and with His love,

Bethy xx